Mary's Funny Real Estate Stories

Decorating Stories:

I asked the lister to take down the buffalo, elk, deer, moose, pheasant, bear heads from around the house before we let buyers in to view it. She reluctantly agreed, but then didn't want to be bothered painting the walls where the heads had been, which were so dirty, you could clearly see the outlines of the heads after they were taken down.

I had a potential lister who had what she told me was a very expensive painting in the living room. It was about 4 X 8 feet, and showed a bloody hand, holding a large hunting knife, which was also dripping blood. the knife was about to be plunged into ... a watermelon! I thought it was too gruesome for buyers to enjoy their time in the house, and asled the owner to take it down. She agreed, but only very reluctantly.

The buyer and seller hated each other on sight, and argued over every little thing throughout the transfer process. The last detail of their argument centered on an antique butcher block in the kitchen, which both wanted. I even offered to go to an antique store and buy another one, so they could each have one, but both wanted that particular one. As the deal unravelled, I finally said to my seller, "Do you want to sell the house or don't you? Because selling it comes down to your butcher block, which you won't have room for in your new house anyhow." They sold the butcher block with the house.

Same scenario as above, only the deal came down to a black metal sculpture of an upside down fish skeleton. The ribs held hand towels in the bathroom. I tried to find another one on eBay with no success, and finally said the same thing to the seller, as I did above. They finally closed the deal with the buyer getting the fish skeleton.

In a former rental property, the tenants had done a great job of painting the interior of the house. But once they moved their furniture out, you could see that they had painted all around every piece of furniture, and you could clearly see where the couch, tables, lamps, beds, dressers, and even the toaster had been!